Critters vs Gremlins


 

Before We Start…

For this blog will be using pretty much anything we can get our hands on that isn’t a crossover. So that’s  The first two gremlin movies, comics, novels and games. And as for the critters, it’s pretty simple just the five movies and the show what’s all that said let’s get into it

Background

Gremlins

‘’Y'know they're still shipping' them over here. They put 'em in cars, they put 'em in yer tv. they put 'em in stereos and those little radios you stick in your ears. They even put 'em in watches, they have teeny gremlins.’’

Oh Christmas, what a wonderful time of year the joy, laughter and of course, the Christmas presents, except it ain’t always easy finding that perfect gift for a loved one. Randall Peltzer, an amateur inventor who went to Chinatown to see if he could find an interesting present to get his son. Billy he ended up, finding himself in a little antique store run by a man who goes by the name of Mr. Wing who ended up having the perfect gift…  a creature that goes by the name of Gizmo. Gizmo was a Mogwai, a furry creature that has been around for quite some time sort of like a Harrier white and furred Yoda. as it turns out these creatures are very intelligent, knowing the English language and being able to catch onto American pop culture very quickly. However, there are a few rules that you must abide by if you would want to keep one of these things

  1.  keep them away from sunlight or anything bright. it will fry them instantly
  2. Don’t let them get wet otherwise they will start to multiply
  3. And most importantly don’t ever ever feed them after midnight

 So anyway Billy messed up and got them wet by accident and they also ate after midnight which led to them becoming the horrific monsters that we know today as gremlins


Critters

“Fuck!”

 

Somewhere across the stars, an asteroid goes by. On it, is a prison housing an alien species unseen by any civilization. These creatures were doomed to be sent to another station, but they found a way out, hijacking a spaceship and escaping into the vast regions of space, and two bounty hunters were hired and hot on their trail.

 

Meanwhile, back on Earth, we meet the Brown family in a small Kansas town: the father, Jay; his wife, Helen; their teenage daughter, April; and their mischievous son, Brad. Brad often hangs out with Charlie McFadden, a clumsy local mechanic. One day, while the two are outside, Charlie accidentally hits April with a slingshot pellet. Brad, trying to protect his friend, takes the blame and ends up grounded. Later, he sneaks out to sit in a tree and sees a comet streaking across the sky, crashing with a loud boom. Jay, hearing the noise, rushes outside and finds Brad, who jokingly claims he was blown into the tree by the explosion. Skeptical but curious, Jay takes Brad to investigate.

 

At the crash site, they find that the 'comet' is actually a spaceship carrying an alien race known as  the Critters. The creatures, in search of food, soon head toward the Brown’s farm and cut the power. Jay, Helen, and Brad head to the circuit breaker, but Jay is attacked by one of the Critters. The family escapes back into the house, while two alien bounty hunters arrive on Earth and scour the town for the Critters. Brad eventually finds the bounty hunters and leads them back to his home. When they arrive, the Critters retreat to their ship, taking April with them. Brad manages to rescue her, and he and Charlie throw a custom-made firecracker into the ship just as the Critters destroy the Browns' house. The firecracker detonates, seemingly destroying the Critters as they try to escape.

 

The next morning, the bounty hunters give Brad a strange, remote-like device before departing. Using it, they quickly repair the Browns' house, then fly off. Just in case any green eggs begin to hatch somewhere far far away…

Experience/Skill

Gremlins

While Gremlins are very animalistic and reckless creatures, they are very capable of doing things humans can do, such as tampering with machinery. There is one Gremlin in the 2nd film that was more evolved however, a Gremlin named Brain Gremlin, who developed a genetic sunblock that nullifies the effects of sunlight on gremlins.

Critters

While their looks may be deceiving, these little guys are actually pretty dangerous and are considered top priority for any bounty hunter who comes into contact with these creatures. They are capable of killing hundreds of people and other alien hunters that they may come into contact with. So be warned if you ever hear strange noises in the night don’t bother running or hiding under your bed. You’re already dead.

Weapons/Equipment

Gremlins

Claws And Natural Weaponry

Gremlins Evil Stripe Puppet Alt 5

When Mogwais transform into gremlins, they gain sharp claws which they can slice and scratch at their prey with. They also gain sharp teeth to bite at you with as well.

Mallets

Gremlins 2: Ultimate Demolition Gremlins - 7" Scale Action Figures

Seemingly the most common weapons Gremlins use, fitting considering their cartoony nature. Bogart Gremlin (Yes like the actor) uses this to knock out a sock puppet Gremlin annoying him, other gremlins play pool with it, in the video games they use them to knock around bowling balls like they're playing golf, and they’re generally seen holding them in action figures and such.

Firearms

 

The Gremlins love causing chaos, and what better way to cause chaos than guns! They’ve wielded many through their many bits of media so we’ll be mentioning all of them here.

 

      Colt Official Police: The Mugger Gremlin wields this to threaten Kate with. He never gets to actually use it but eh, it’s cool nonetheless. Stripe also appears to wield one at the end of the film to try to kill Billy with, he also wielded earlier in the film to kill a Gremlin cheating at poker cause he’s that much of a hater.

      Smith & Wesson Model 65: The Brain Gremlin is seen using this to shoot and kill the Propeller Hat Gremlin who interrupted an interview. Which was very fun but not very civilized. 

      IMI Uzi: Mohawk gets a hold of this trusty firearm and begins firing at billy with it. This is also very useful as it’s a rapid fire machine gun type gun!

      Launcher Thingy: Legit i have 0 idea what the fuck this even is but Stripe wields it in the games and it fires big green balls.

Christmas Lights

Stripe And His Lackeys Back In There Mogwai Forms Use These Christmas Lights To Wrap Billy's Dog Barney Up With (Poor Dog)

  

Tennis Racket

Stripe uses this tennis racket to torment Gizmo With Using Him As The Ball

 

Darts

Stripe And His Goons Wrap Gizmo Onto A Dart Board And Use Him As The Bullseye And Begin Throwing Darts At The Mogwai

Syringes

One Of Gizmos Clones Turned Gremlin Earl Injected Unknown Syringes Into Hanson

In The Released Film It’s In His Ass While In The Original Version He Was Stabbed All Over

 

Gingerbread Men

One Of Stripes Goons Is Shown Eating Billy's Mothers Gingerbread Men Cookies And Later Throw Them At Her

 

Dishes

One Of Stripes Other Minions Threw Plates At Billy's Mother As A Projectile

 

Christmas Tree

One Of Stripes Little Bastards Hide Within A Christmas Tree To Get The Jump On Billy's Mother

 

Christmas Carol Books

They Can Sing!!!! Also They Have Scarfs And Hats To Keep Themselves Warm

 

Cigarettes And Beer

Stripe And The Gang Head To A Bar And Drink Loads And Smoke A Ton

They Also Throw Empty Beer Bottles At Kate 

Fire Extinguisher

One Of Stripes Goons Use These To Put A Fire Out Caused By A Gremlin Putting His Fingers In An Electrical Socket Of A Lamp

Popcorn

Stripe Has Popcorn Which He Can Fling At You With Or Eat For Himself

Yum Yum

Camera

LEGO Dimensions Gremlins Team Pack ...

Stripe Used A Camera In A Department Store To Make Himself Appear On Every Screen To Mess With Billy

 

Sawblades

stripe with saw blade : r/Gremlins

Stripe Threw A Whole Bunch Of These At Billy To Try Slice Him Up

There Also Capable Of Moving Through The Ground And Up Walls

 

Baseball Pitching Machine

Stripe After Escaping On His Tricycle Began Firing Baseballs At Billy With This Machine

Boxes

Stripe Begins Throwing Boxes At Billy Along With The Baseballs

He Also Beats Down Rand With This Box Thing In The Comic

 

Crossbow

Stripe Uses One Of These To Fire An Arrow Into Billy's Arm

He Can Also Materialise Boomboxes For The Arrows To Hit Causing Small Explosions

‘’Bye Bye’

Chainsaw

Stripe Taps Into His Inner Leatherface And Uses A Chainsaw To Try Kill Billy With

He Can Also Place It On The Ground To Drag Him Away From Harm Or Send It Towards People 

Electrical Wires

Stripe After Reincarnating Into Mohawk Got His Hands On Gizmo And Began Torturing Him With Bright Sparks From Electrical Wires

‘’Gizmo Zap Zap’’

Whisk

Lenny uses this to scare marge  spooky

Eggs

Lenny Throws A whole bunch of these at Marg

Pans And Pots

Lenny Throws A Bunch Of These Into A Microwave To Cause An Explosion

He Could Also Throw Them At You

Scientific Potions

After Invading A Lab Some Of The Gremlins Consume These Potions

What They Do We Will Get Into Later

Genetic Sunblock

The Gremlins Make This In A Science Lab

It's A Small Needle Which When Injected Into A Gremlin Removes The Bright Light Weakness They Had Allowing Them To Run Around In The Sun

While It's Only Shown Being Used On One There Can Potentially Be More Created.

Knight Armour

A Gremlin Is Seen Wearing Knight Armour A Shield And A Sword 

Variety Of Explosives

Mohawks Goons Get A Hold Of A Bunch Of Dynamite Grenades Landmines And Even A M72 Law Said Explosives Where Also Going To Be Used To Destroy The Statue Of Liberty

 

Bowling Balls

Lenny Sent Bowling Balls Towards Gizmo With His Mallet

Launcher Thingy

Yeah I Have No Idea What This Is But It Does Launch Out These Green Balls

 

Custard Pies

Stripe Uses These To Turn Mogwais Into Gremlins Adding New Members To His Army

And For Non Mogwais Well… Would Probably Hurt If He Force Fed You A Bunch Considering How Many He Carries In Game

Critters

Teeth

These bad boys got quite the chompers on them. Capable of chewing through flesh and bone and even wood

Catapult

They go flying!!!!

Rope

Used to tie up an old couple before eating them

Voice changer

What is this scream 3

Vehicles

Gremlins

Snowplough

                                        Pop Culture Vomit Bag!: Gremlins (1984)

Multiple Gremlins Use This Vehicle Capable Of Smashing Through Walls To Drive Into The Futterman's Home (But Somehow Are Alive In The Sequel?)

There Needs To Be Multiple Gremlins To Drive It Although

Tricycle

               Pin page  

Me on my way to do your mom

Skateboard

He’s fucking grinding

Motorcycle

 A motorcycle which they use to chase Gizmo with

 

Toy Train

Mohawk also ties up Gizmo to hit him with this. Poor Gizmo

Pogo Stick

Stripes Goons Can Use These Trusty Tools To Jump Around

Rockets

Stripes Army Have Access To Rockets Which They Ride And Fly Around On

If They Come In Contact With You They Explode

Jetpack

They Have Jetpacks Allowing Them Fly In The Air

Critters

Spaceships

 

With these ships the critters are capable of traveling interstellar distances with ease, communicating with others and releasing giant critter balls. They once even blew up a house

Powers/Abilities

Gremlins

Gremlin Physiology

After A Mogwai Eats After Midnight They Turn Into One Of These Guys And That Was The Same For Stripe In The Process A Cocoon Forms Around The Mogwai Like A Caterpillar Said Cocoon Can Even Cause Explosions When They Hatch 

They Become Taller Lose Their Fur For Scaly Reptile Like Skin And Gain 3 Large Claws And Sharp Teeth But Still Retain Some Of The Mogwais Biology Mainly Being Able To Duplicate When Coming In Contact With Water. its shown that it only works with water as juice or spit won't work

With Even Just A Cup Of Water It Can Create 5 Mogwais And Pray To God If One Of Them Reaches A Pool Like Stripe Did

For Mogwais Small Little Balls Popped From Them And Formed Into Mogwais For Gremlins Like Stripe However The Back Of The Gremlin Get Riddled With Big Blisters That Contain Smaller Gremlins Which Rather Quickly Break Free And Start To Grow

The Gremlins That Are Giving Birth To New Gremlins Are Often More Vulnerable Because The Birthing Process Is Often Extremely Painful For Them Afterwards They Continue To Live As If Nothing Happened

One Final Thing Stripe Even As A Skeleton Can Keep On Fighting Although If It's Broken That's It For Him And In The Nes Game Gremlins Can Spit Out Fire

Reincarnation

Mohawk our favorite sequel Gremlin was Just A reincarnation of stripe according to Joe Dante himself

 

Fourth Wall Awareness

Stripe And The Other Gremlins Are Fully Aware Of Being Fictional Characters

As Shown Here He’s Jumping Out His Own Poster And Vandalising It They’ve Even Escaped There Own Movie And Messed With The Projector To Do Hand Puppets Promote Gremlin Video Games In Commercials Hell in the Novelisation of Gremlins 2 The Brain Gremlin Attacks The Writer And Writes The Next Few Pages

Critters

Size manipulation

The critters can grow in size and that’s kinda all there is to it

 

Support

Gremlins

Stripe

The leader of the Gremlins

Greta Gremlin

A Gremlin after drinking a potion transformed Into a female Gremlin (she’s implied to be trans according to the wiki awesome!). Dubbed Greta (named after legendary actress Greta Garbo) She’s Shown Being Lovestruck For Clamp Centre Employee Forster And Clinging On To Him And Forcibly Kissing Him (They Get Together At The End)

And In The Game She's Shown Throwing Flowers And Kisses As Projectiles

 

Vegetable Gremlin

A mutated Gremlin made out of vegetables

Brain Gremlin

After  drinking a potion called the Brain Hormone it developed a very intelligent brain allowing it to talk and give out plans to its fellow gremlins. It could also SING!

Bat Gremlin

After drinking bat DNA tit developed bat you usual bat powers such as flight, and claws.

Spider Gremlin

A gremlin with spider like powers such as webbing and crawling walls.

Electric Gremlin

After drinking  an electric potion it turns into pure electricity capable of shooting out electricity. Tho it has no sense of directions.

Smart noggin

Bro’s a 🤓

Caseoh

Mate she big

Critters

Reg critter

Good old fashioned critter and it should’ve been the only Krite types New binge try not to be the worst thing ever challenge impossible but anyway, these demented Furbies are capable of shooting out little quills that can knock a person out and leave them dazed and like I mentioned earlier they can grow in size. The Krites Also have their own language that  they use to communicate with each other and have a hierarchy of sorts.

Critterball

A giant ball of those critters that will run you down and tear off your skin. Hard AF

Red critter

The same as a regular critter except when this one shoots out a spike it blows up the person’s head

Overall

Gremlins

      Nearly killed everyone twice

      Have a total kill count of 7

      Supports the LGBT

      Stripe rules

Critters

      First two movies are great

      Has nearly taken over towns

      Has a kill count of 30

      Supports LGBT

      Charlie

Strength

Gremlins

21 Crazy Facts Behind The Making Of The Gremlin Movies

        Stripe is capable of jumping into glass so hard it shatters (72.47 Joules)

      Can jump out of A Little Door Hard Enough To Send It Swinging Open And Then Cut Billy's Skin With His Claws

      Knocked Out Rand With Nothing But A Box

      With Nothing But A Box Was Able To Knock Billy To The Ground With One Throw

      Threw Saw Blades So Hard They Embedded Into Walls

      Capable Of Putting Dents In Walls

      Can Burst Through Computer Consoles No Problem And He Then Proceeded To Knock The Guy Out With One Punch

      Are Capable Of Killing A Full Grown Man

        Hitting Pool Balls So Hard It Shatters Beer Bottles (24,000 Psi)

        Knocking Christmas Trees Over (Average Christmas Tree Is About 48.5 Us Tons)

        And Are Capable Of Hacking Right Through Metal Wall With An Axe And Potentially Punching Through It As Well (145000 Joules)

        With One Slap Can Stun Mogwais Who Are Capable Of Enduring Large Falls Which Result In Small Explosions Being Smashed Through Floors And Even Electricity Which Is About (3.6 Megajoules)

Critters

 Hungry Crites: The Chaos of Critters 2 ...

      Can bite through wood

      Can knock around grown men

      chewed Lee to the bone

      Walked through a fence

      Multiple critters can dent a car door by flying into them

      Their quills are strong enough to pierce metal

      Tore the sheriffs stomach out

      A Critter ball can knock a man on his butt

       knocked down a telephone pole

Speed

Gremlins

      Got To The Kingston Falls Ymca Before Billy

      Billy Took His Eyes Of Stripe For Just A Second And He Was Across The Store On A Tricycle

      Was Able To Defeat An Entire Army Of Mogwais And Steal Every Present In Kingston Falls Before The Sun Came Up Shown By The Fact Mogwais Are Turning Into Gremlins When They Eat

      Scales To Daffy Who Ate This Corn Really Fucking Fast

        Dodges Bowling Balls Being Dropped On Him (20-21 Mph)

      Capable Of Jumping Across Large Pits

        Scales To Billy Who Avoids Gunfire From Stripes Colt Official Police Revolver Shots (850 Fps Aka 579.545 Mph)

        Scales To Gizmo Who Avoids Electricity Bolts Up Close (270,000 Km/S Aka 603972799 Mph)

      Can dodge light based attacks

Critters

 

      A critter was fast enough to create fire while moving (Mach 5)

      With their spaceship they can dodge a lasers (likely FTL)

Durability

Gremlins

Institute of Gremlins 2 Studies on X: "After having acid thrown in his  face, the Phantom of the Opera Gremlin takes to wearing a mask. Is this  merely an imitation of human

      Strip slammed himself through a glass wall and was no worse for wear

      Endured a brightlight right in face

      Was Dragged Around By A Chainsaw Then Slammed Into A Wall And Was Only Just A Bit Dizzy

      Upscales Mr. Fetterman who survived being run over by a snowplow

      Can Keep Fighting Even When All His Skin And Organs Are Gone

        Ate A Grenade As It Went Off Inside Of Him And Was Still Alive (276,000 Joules)

      Lenny Throws A Metal Pan At George Who Barely Notices

      One Gremlin Throws Sulfuric Acid At Another Gremlin And It's All Okay Besides Some Facial Deformities

      One Gremlin Gets Shot By Mowhawks Uzi And Laughed It Off With It Only Causing Small Holes

        Tanks Hits From Gizmo Who Is Capable Of Lifting Large Weights So Heavy The Floor Around Him Breaks Tanking Hits From The Bat Gremlin Who Can Destroy Walls And He Can Tank Hits From The Electric Gremlin Who Melted A Crowd Of 446 Gremlins

Critters

      The critter ball survives a huge building explosion (357.978 Megajoules)

 

Weaknesses

Gremlins

Despite their ferociousness army they are still prone to reckless stupidity and they have a pretty consistent weaknesses to light such as sunlight and camera flashes.

Critters

As strangely formidable as these little bastards are, they are still…very stupid. They can't stick to even basic orders to just not eat anything on several trips, causing international incidents and getting bounty hunters on their tails for little reason otherwise. Their small size also means stronger foes can easily ragdoll them, and a select high-frequency pitch can instantly kill all of them in radius.

 

Bonus Art

 

Verdicts

Stats

In terms of stats both are equal in speed with both being light speed, but in terms of strength and durability that Critters hold the edge due to tanking a blast  that destroyed a huge house  which gets 357 megajoules which is higher than any feat Gremlins ever had so for this one this goes to the Critters

Weapons/Abilities

In terms of weapons though the Gremlins have a lot more weapons and duplication can be a problem but Critters aren’t too far off, they have quills that can knock a person out which could be a problem not to mention since none of said weapons neg durability besides the dynamite they used to blow up the liberty statue which basically while definitely could one shot critters is pretty ooc for them while the Critters have their own to one shot them. So basically quality vs quantity.

Tertiary Factors

While both are dumb the Gremlins have shown a lot of more strategic and more intelligent moments with one of their armies literally capable of talking and creating serums benefiting them. They also have a leader that gives good commands and is pretty smart. Point goes to Gremlins once more

Overall

This is a close one, the gremlins may have more advantages in terms of quantity, and very good experience but  the fact that they can’t harm the Critters with big is pretty noticeable while the Critters own army hax, and multiple ways to one shot gives them a very close edge. The winners are the  Critters

Summary

Gremlins

Advantages

      Has the better arsenal by a wide margin

      Far more versatile

      Even in speed

Disadvantages

      Far weaker physically, although their weapons close the gap

      Less smart?

      Still haven’t gotten a third movie

Critters

Advantages

      Physically stronger

      Equal in speed

      One of them canonically fucked a human woman

      Half of this was shown on-screen

      This resulted in a human-critter hybrid

      WTF WAS THIS SHOW

Disadvantages

      Less weapons

      Less vehicles

      Half the franchise

Votes

Gremlins - (1) Fiction

Critters - (2), Round 1 and Iceking

 

 

Credits

Stripe vs Chucky

Before we go to a special blog….

Let’s just say this match is a duo blog between these two tragic characters….

Comments

Macedaace said…
"Secret Blogs" is right! It took me forever to find this place! Can't wait for Lizard vs. Man Bat!

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